


it wasn't you

by softambrollins



Category: Professional Wrestling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Brainwashing, Crack Treated Seriously, Demon Hunters, Demonic Possession, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, Mind Control, Psychological Trauma, Shame, Supernatural Elements, basically seth's been possessed by the fiend and roman's a demon hunter now bc why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26087593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softambrollins/pseuds/softambrollins
Summary: "Something happened to you. The Fiend got inside your head. Changed you. Corrupted you. Like a part of him waspossessingyou."Seth feels dirty all over just from the word. It's not just his head that feels wrong, but all of him, like his body doesn't belong to him, hasn't belonged to him for a long time. He knows that what Roman is saying is true, on a fundamental level, even if he can't explain it. He can feel the weight of the months he can't remember inside the very core of his being. And it's far from a comfortable sensation.
Relationships: Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins | Tyler Black, Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins | Tyler Black
Kudos: 21





	it wasn't you

Seth awakens in a darkened hotel room and he startles upright on the bed, wondering how he got here. 

There's a figure sitting motionless across the room, bathed in shadow, head bent low, long dark hair covering his face. He squints into the distance and his vision blurs and his head starts aching again. He squeezes them shut for a moment and tries to shake it away. He doesn't feel right, his head's heavy and swimming, there's a dull ringing in his ears, he wonders if he's been concussed. And if he is, why he's here and not in a hospital. 

He's about to say something when the figure rises and slowly makes his way over to him. 

He finally raises his head and meets his eyes. 

"Roman?" he gasps breathlessly. "What the hell's going on?" 

"Don't freak out," he says, calm and soothing, like he's trying not to spook him. "You got knocked out. So I brought you here."

"Knocked out?" he asks in confusion. "What? By who?" 

"By me," Roman says simply. 

Seth just stares up at him with wide eyes, speechless. And maybe he does kind of remember that now that he thinks about it. He remembers being in the ring and Roman suddenly being there. Staring at him fixedly just like he is now and he had this strange, almost regretful look on his face and he just said, "Sorry about this," and then he took a massive Superman Punch to the jaw. That's where everything goes black. But that doesn't even make any sense — 

Roman lets out a heavy breath and sits at the foot of the bed, regarding him gravely. 

"We need to talk. Seriously. About what's been going on."

Seth narrows his eyes at him now, feeling even more lost. "What's been going on?" 

"You tell me. What's the last thing you remember?" he asks evenly. 

Seth swallows hard, trying to piece it together through all the fragmented thoughts swirling around in his head. "I… I remember losing the title to the Fiend. I remember the night after and just feeling weird and not like myself and it's all hazy after that."

"That was ten months ago," Roman tells him bluntly. 

"What?" Seth says in disbelief, mouth falling open slightly. 

"Something happened to you. The Fiend got inside your head. Changed you. Corrupted you. Like a part of him was _possessing_ you."

Seth feels dirty all over just from the word. It's not just his head that feels wrong, but all of him, like his body doesn't belong to him, hasn't belonged to him for a long time. He knows that what Roman is saying is true, on a fundamental level, even if he can't explain it. He can feel the weight of the months he can't remember inside the very core of his being. And it's far from a comfortable sensation. 

He suddenly wants a long shower. Or ten. But he doesn't think he can ever scrub clean the parts that were most violated, not his body, but the black fingerprints on his soul. Like ash and ruin. So, so deep that no one should ever be able to penetrate unless he wanted them to. He'd felt it, that inexorable grip exerted on him, in the Cell, anytime the Fiend was near, like a constant, maddening whisper in his ear giving voice to his worst fears, telling him he was ugly and damaged and worthless and everyone would always leave him, telling him he deserved it, it was all his fault, telling him to just give in to the dark impulses in his mind, telling him that's who he really was, telling him to do horrible things, and he just wanted it to _stop_ , even if it meant destroying him, even if it meant losing his soul again. And he realises now that it never did. He's been trapped with the Fiend this whole time and he didn't even know it. Like an insidious infection hiding in his blood. A shiver crawls up his spine. 

He wonders if he'll ever be able to trust his own mind, his own choices and actions, ever again. He's made awful decisions before and thought they were right but this is _different_. He thinks maybe his heart always knew something was wrong though, and maybe not listening to it is what proves to be his undoing over and over again. 

"And it's gone now?" he asks, setting his jaw firmly, needing that reassurance more than anything. 

"I think so, yeah. Hitting you in the head, it was like a reset of sorts. I guess it also messed with your memories." 

From the look on Roman's face, he figures that's not the full story. Maybe he's better off not knowing though. He trusts that Roman did what he had to do to bring him back to himself. 

But there are some things he _has_ to know even though he's fucking terrified to know _any_ of it, even though he doesn't think he'll be able to survive it. 

Seth lets out a long exhale before he makes himself say it, looking Roman right in the eyes. "What did I do?" he asks, clear and direct.

Roman doesn't say anything for a moment, just moves closer to him. 

"What else do you remember?" he prompts him more gently this time, eyes sad and sorry. 

And that's when it all comes back at once. Flashes of all of it bombarding his already fragile mind. Like a flood he's been trying to hold back since he came to and can't anymore. Blood and violence and hurt and devastation. The kind he never, ever wanted to cause again. And no, god, _no_ , it can't be. He wants to scream. He feels like he's going to be sick. 

He pulls away from Roman, brings his knees up to his chest, shoulders slumped, curled over himself, gaze falling away from Roman's face like he's afraid of what he might find there. He shakes his head desperately, trying unsuccessfully to will the images and the truth he already knows in his bones away, a sob lodged in his throat. "No. _No._ I didn't. What the fuck did I _do_?" he chokes out painfully. 

"It wasn't you," Roman tells him firmly, like he actually means it. But he doesn't know. He can't possibly know what it feels like. 

"How could it _not_ be me? I did it. _All_ of it. I can _remember_ it. I did it with my own two hands." He stretches them out in front of him now and they're shaking uncontrollably. He's still wearing that fucking glove on his right hand, like a dark stain on him, and he knows it's covered with blood even though he can't see it. He rips it off violently and throws it to the ground and then takes his head in both hands, rocking back and forth, breathing shakily, his mind and heart being ravaged by all the pain he inflicted, like shrapnel ricocheting through him. 

Roman slides closer on the bed until he's right next to him. He reaches out and puts one hand on his shoulder to steady him and gently rests the other on his cheek and makes him look at him again.

"Hey, it's okay. It wasn't you. It was _him_. The Fiend. He made you into that. Like he did to all his victims. He preyed on you. Your mind. Your weaknesses. When he knew you were vulnerable. He knew you were alone and you didn't have anything left. He saw the darkest parts of you, your worst instincts, and he made them consume you."

"So it _is_ my fault. For being fucking _weak_. _Again_ ," he grits out helplessly. 

Roman's grip on his jaw tightens slightly. "Hey, it's _not_ your fault," he tells him, more fervently. "He tried to do the same thing to Dean. And to me. And it was hard to resist then. Now he's even more powerful. He grows more powerful with each victim he takes. But I'm not gonna let him take any more."

Roman slowly slides his hand away from his face, but he stays close and Seth can still feel his other warm hand curled around his shoulder, his one safe, fixed point left in the world. 

"What are you gonna do?" Seth asks desolately, head hanging low on his shoulders like he physically can't hold it up anymore.

"I'm gonna stop him," Roman says, like it's that simple. "Once and for all. That's the reason I came back." 

"Roman, no, it's too dangerous," Seth tells him urgently, eyes flying back up to this face. "You're gonna get hurt. Or he's gonna do the same thing he did to me. And I don't want that to happen. Not to _you_."

Roman's the best of them, he knows that, and he can't bear to think about that monster getting his claws in him, stealing away everything that makes him good and righteous. 

"Seth, you did your best. You did enough. Your fight's over now. I'm not gonna let him get away with it. No one gets to hurt my brother without _paying_ for it." He clenches his jaw, looking truly angry for the first time. 

Seth lets out a mirthless laugh. "I don't know how you can even say that, how you can even _look_ at me, after all the terrible shit I did."

"Because I _know_ you, the _real_ you," Roman promises him. "The guy who wanted to protect his brothers more than anything. Now I'm here to protect _you_ this time."

And maybe this is all he's really needed this whole time, even when he didn't know it, even when he didn't want it. 

Seth finally nods at him. "Okay," he breathes out like an acceptance, even though he's still not sure he's worth it. 

A moment passes and then Roman asks, "You talked to Dean lately?" 

And fuck, it hurts even more to think about Dean. Dean watching him be this sick, despicable creature and being helpless to stop it when he was the one who dragged him back into the light, when he'd promised him that he was never going to surrender to the darkness again. Because he was never going to give this up, give himself up, again. But in the end, he wasn't strong enough to fight it. Without Dean. Without Roman. 

"No, I think he called a couple times but I couldn't answer. I couldn't face him. Not after what I did to him. I think some part of me knew he'd see right through me. And that was terrifying. I guess I couldn't face myself either." He feels a deep sense of shame settle over him and he knows Roman can see it on his face. He thinks it's probably gonna take a long time to wash it all away. 

"It's okay," Roman assures him. "He knows it wasn't you. I told him everything. He was just worried. You should give him a call when you're feeling better."

"I'm not gonna let you do it alone, you know," Seth tells him intently. "Not after everything. I was _so alone_ for so long. I convinced myself I was doing the right thing. I surrounded myself with people I thought I could control but they didn't _know_ me. They thought I was just that…soulless bastard. And that's what I _wanted_. It was all so fucking empty. And that was better. Than having to feel anything. Just submitting to the abyss. Disappearing."

Roman just nods, like somehow he understands all of it. "That's what the Fiend does. Isolates you. Cuts you off from all light and happiness. Makes you hopeless and desperate and you think darkness and despair is all you have left. Your only protection." 

"But I can't leave it at that. It'll just feel like he _won_ ," Seth says with a grimace. "I have to _do_ something, to make it right, whatever I can. So I can live with myself. Because I don't want to _feel_ like this anymore."

"I know. And he's not gonna win. I promise you. He can try whatever bullshit circus tricks he wants on us but it's not gonna work anymore. Because we're stronger than that. We always have been."

"So what do we do now?" Seth asks quietly. 

Roman just looks at him, a blazing, defiant look in his eyes. Just like old times. Like it's back to business and he can't wait to jump into the fray again. Serve up their favourite brand of gloriously painful, destructive justice to the ones who most deserve it. Annihilate everyone in their path. Burn down the whole damn world and stand amongst the ashes if that's what it takes to cleanse it. 

"First, you heal up," he says. "And then we do what we always do. Kick some fucking demonic clown ass."


End file.
